Girlfriends changing to suit my kink - leaving me feeling guilty

First time forum user here. Looking for advice or experience from like minded folk.

I've been seeing a girl for a little over a year, about six months ago I lightly introduced to her my 'kink'/attraction to women who are muscular. I am embarrassed about it, and keep it to myself, but I recognise a relationship is built on trust, honesty and openness so I thought it important to share this part of myself.

She is 32, slender, most lovely, a little meek and keen to please, and has jumped at the opportunity to try to fulfil my fantasy. I first shared with her "Hard curves" by the bodybuilder and Illustrator Julie Bell. This I believe was the catalyst to my 'Kink', a Christmas gift to a developing young boy showing "Illustrated", but scantily clad women, the rest is history.

I then shared with her my amended version of the FGM erotic "Wills Power" which is attached (I don't know the author, but all credit to them)

Since then she has endeavoured build muscle, role play and full accept me. But I fear I should be accepting HER as her she is. and not encouraging her to grow. Does that make any sense? I feel I shouldn't ask someone to change, I do like her for who she is, but then I have this little box in my mind (or so I describe it) which is main line rocket fuel to arousal.

I don't know what to do.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/wepf2ayfb0t9gv...

You're living the dream, man! It's hard to give specific advice without knowing more about the dynamics of your relationship, but some general suggestions.

I don't think not encouraging her is the way to go. But when you do encourage her, don't just talk about how she looks, but comment on what she can do. New deadlift PR? First pull-up? Fastest mile? Love your form on squats! Make it clear that you appreciate that she's bettering herself, not just looking better for you.

But ultimately it's up to her what she wants to do. If she loses interest, that is her decision to make. On the other hand, if she sticks with it, and you know she's doing it because she wants to (and not out of a sense of duty to make you happy), isn't that even hotter?

Also, get involved! I don't know if you currently train. If you do, then work with her (if you aren't already). It's an awesome couples activity. And if you're not, take this as your cue to get your ass in gear. That way you get in shape, your gf gets even hotter, and you have a new activity to do together - that sounds like a win/win/win!

I don't know for sure. maybe she is enjoying working out more than she thought she would. it's hard work so I don't expect anyone to do that for me. I am maybe a little old school but ideally you to should stay together for your entire life. and when you are old you will both be ugly regardless but fitness will slow down the decline of her beauty but in the end it won't matter. you need to make it clear that you are are loyal and while you love the look it's not a big deal if she wants to stop

You are very fortunate! I’ve been married 40 years, and my wife never wanted to become more muscular. Enjoy it, but don’t abuse it.

Yeah, man. That’s awesome. My wife IS very muscular, at least compared to the average woman. She’s is an athlete, or was, so she’s built like an athlete and just has great genetics for building muscle, super wide shoulders, massive calves, good muscle bellies, people have told her she should get into bodybuilding.

But anyway, she halfway doesn’t like it. She likes being fit but says she doesn’t want to be jacked. I mean I don’t push like crazy or anything but a) she obviously knows I’m into muscles and b) definitely works out hard and has great triceps, quads, traps, etc.

just encourage her to do it for herself and not just purely for you

Let her lift

You said you like her for who she is, make that clear. Do the working out with her or at least at the same time, even if you aren’t doing the same thing at the gym. Basically I’d just say make it clear you love her for who she is and that you’d happily join along with her in the gym, while also encouraging her to do it for herself and not just for you (yeah others have said parts of this)

That’s a word salad, basically make it clear you love her for who she is, and if she is lifting, join in on it.

As a longtime lifter, I've pretty much never seen anyone get into it and regret it, regardless of what their reasons were. It's a very empowering practice. I would just enjoy it and be encouraging and make sure she feels loved for who she is either way!

Make absolutely sure you support her in whatever she chooses to do. If she starts, support her. If she quits, you better support her and not feel guilty for quitting.