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All of this is pretty much stating the obvious. A shockingly small number of people are in good shape, so there will inherently be a larger pool of admirers. On a related note, my response to the sentiment that musculature is masculine is this: shave your average man's arms, and they could pass as a woman's. Muscles belong to all genders.
Also, it's important to note that it's more difficult for women to achieve a muscular look. Women who do will necessarily be deeply invested in the lifestyle. It's never going to be a minor side hobby like weekend baking. So it's definitely important for a partner to relate to such a big aspect of their lives.
I don't think it's too different from how it would be if you substituted in another activity.
Let's say that for some reason you're very attracted to women who are good at piano. You recognize that the best way to get to know women who are good at piano would be to learn a musical instrument yourself and enroll at a fancy music school. But the problem is you don't have a single musical bone in your body and every time you try taking piano lessons you quit out of frustration after a few months. It's not that you can't make any progress, but every time you practice it's excruciatingly difficult and you hate it the entire time. Getting good at piano requires tons of time and dedication and you don't have it in you to do it without actual interest in the activity itself, but the activity is just a means to an end for you.
It's not a perfect analogy (for one, the gender ratios in weightlifting are probably more skewed than in high level music) but hopefully you see how similar reasoning would apply.
Getting good at piano requires tons of time and dedication and you don't have it in you to do it without actual interest in the activity itself, but the activity is just a means to an end for you.
So, are you suggesting that she'll be enticed because you make an effort to play the piano (i.e. working out) which shows an appreciation for what she does? or that you must become Beethoven (i.e. Arnold Schwarzenegger) in order to qualify for her ridiculously high standards?
The OP was making a case that women who are super into fitness are more likely to want to date men who share that lifestyle, which I think is true, and was wondering why more "schmoes" don't get into fitness to have a better chance of getting with these women. The piano analogy is meant to be an example of how getting into an activity to the point where it becomes a lifestyle can be near impossible if it's just not the kind of activity you enjoy.
You don't really get points for showing up to the gym once a week to do your obligatory workout. It might be better than nothing, in the sense that you'd be able to at least relate a little bit when she's talking about the gym, but it's pretty far from any semblance of a shared lifestyle centered around fitness. She'd still be spending a good chunk of her non-working time at the gym and doing all her meal prep while you just want to order a pizza and get on with your day.
Part of the reason I like muscular girls is because they are bigger and stronger than me
If I became big and muscular myself this appeal might go
Taking the question literally the answer is yes, if focusing on "the best way". But you can also be filthy rich. :) Other than that, for all practical purposes hell yes. The odds improve by orders of magnitude if you are also (somewhat) seriously into health and fitness. You don't have to be at a competitive level, or even close, but couch potatoes need not apply. Actually, as long as you are not overweight, you are probably fine. This is based on empirical evidence as well as conversations I have had with girls themselves. There are of course exceptions to the rule but they are just that, exceptions.
If that's the most important thing you look for in a woman, I'd say yes. However I would say live you're own life and do the things you like most. Than chances are you attract a woman who lives or likes to live a similar lifestyle.
In my case I always like being active (tennis, fitness, running, etc). My spouse, although she ran a lot when we met, was at the beginning hesitant and prejudged of weight excercises. After telling her weight-excercises are also be beneficial for bodyposture, overall look and the prevention of injuiries, she slowly got aware of this and has addes this to her routine. These days she's addicted to bootcamp activities. She especially likes this because it's outside and because she can do this with some girlfriends. Because she is very consistent with this she got good results.
The OP was making a case that women who are super into fitness are more likely to want to date men who share that lifestyle, which I think is true, and was wondering why more "schmoes" don't get into fitness to have a better chance of getting with these women. The piano analogy is meant to be an example of how getting into an activity to the point where it becomes a lifestyle can be near impossible if it's just not the kind of activity you enjoy.
You don't really get points for showing up to the gym once a week to do your obligatory workout. It might be better than nothing, in the sense that you'd be able to at least relate a little bit when she's talking about the gym, but it's pretty far from any semblance of a shared lifestyle centered around fitness. She'd still be spending a good chunk of her non-working time at the gym and doing all her meal prep while you just want to order a pizza and get on with your day.
Ah, OK....got'cha. đź‘Ť
Yeah, I would think there's a certain point that you'd have to achieve personally. Yet, I doubt one would have to necessarily become a pro or even a competitor. Shades of gray seem plausible, but of course, you'd undoubtedly want to have other qualities that help your overall appeal. That is, unless she's the type that's only looking for a hard core bodybuilder/powerlifter/strongman herself.
Most likely, there are various combinations that will work, but I agree that most of these gals don't look for couch potatoes, LOL.
Yes, definetely. It could work somehow otherwise, but lifting really increases your chances. Though, only lift when you want it for yourself
Other than the obvious sharing the same interest in fitness/bodybuilding, Unless you are lucky enough to work with one and you happen to attract her with your winning personality, where else are you likely to run into one of these beautiful women and run into them enough to ask them out. Maybe you run into one in a grocery store ask her out and she agrees. God Bless you, if so I want to be your wing man , but not likely.... I discovered years ago, you gotta be where they are, doing the thing they love to do. Fortunately for me, I love it to, but even if bodybuilding isn’t your thing, if you can at least make the gym and your good health important and do at least some work when you’re there and be seen. You’ve got a much better chance there, doing that, than anything else I can think of. Like Chainer said, it may be tough for you if it’s not your thing , but as they say “ No Pain, No Gain”. How bad do you want it or better yet, her??
They say projecting the qualities you want in a mate is the best way to attract them. Makes sense to me. I'm 39 and after being into muscular women at the age of 10, i just starting lifting about a year ago. And while i haven't had a muscular girlfriend yet, I've noticed quite an improvement in the attention I've gotten from all different types of women, and I don't doubt that I'll be able to find a built woman that gives me that attention as well at some point down the road.
Also factor in that people are generally attracted to visual markers of someone making progress in their life/attempting to better themselves.
I would imagine for a lot of these women who know what they want, it's more about other facets of the lifestyle, i.e. the discipline, the dedication, the conscientiousness, etc that's attractive to them.
They say projecting the qualities you want in a mate is the best way to attract them. Makes sense to me. I'm 39 and after being into muscular women at the age of 10, i just starting lifting about a year ago. And while i haven't had a muscular girlfriend yet, I've noticed quite an improvement in the attention I've gotten from all different types of women, and I don't doubt that I'll be able to find a built woman that gives me that attention as well at some point down the road.
Dude! Fantastic job with the lifting! I also don't doubt that part of the improvement in the attention you're now getting from women isn't just from the physical changes in your body, but also from the increased confidence you have. I love reading stuff like this. Keep at it!
Thank you for all the responses. I'm really glad my topic is getting this much attention, and there are a few comments that I would like to address:
First is to Chainer: I do like that analogy and I haven't thought about it like that before. However, I want to counter that there is a vast gulf, as was addressed by a couple other commenters, between "only doing a once-a-week token workout," and being a competitive athlete. While yes, I still believe that a lot of fit women also want a fit man who lives a similar lifestyle to them, they don't require to be at a competitive athlete level (you don't have to be at a Mat Fraser, or Phil Heath, or Brian Shaw level to date them,) and they don't require you to meet certain "standards" (i.e. You must have a sub-4 minute Fran, or be able to squat 3 plates.) Rather, they want someone who eats clean and goes to the gym at a pretty regular basis. In fact, I know a few women at my gym who are competitors, but their significant others, while also into crossfit, don't compete.
Also, I want to clarify that in no way do I believe that getting into lifting and getting muscular is a magic bullet for attracting a muscular women, nor do I believe that it will guarantee you a fit partner. You still have to have a good personality, have values that align with hers, and good social skills. Rather, I believe that being fit yourself puts you in the best position to be around fit women and to find one that you would be compatible with. And even if you don't end up with a muscular woman, there are still many positive benefits behind getting in shape. Having been fat and out of shape, and now being very fit, I literally can't fathom how I allowed myself to live like that for so long.
Also, someone mentioned Taylor Stein. While she is more muscular than her boyfriend, he still have a good amount of muscle and you can tell he lifts. It further shows that for a lot of fit women, they don't care about their partner being a certain "level," but rather just want someone who lives a similar lifestyle to them.
There's no downside to pursuing strength training and fitness. And you are more likely to meet an athletic and muscular woman in the process. Let's examine a couple premises I have seen in this thread:
A. The gym and social media:
The gym is not the only place to consider. There are lots of athletic women who enjoy outdoor activities, like running, climbing, swimming, or yoga, for example. Not all of them want to be photographed and not all of them compete for validation on social media. Fitness and bodybuilding as an industry sponsors merchandise and imagery that benefits the industry. However, it's not the only way to achieve strength and musculature. To use Chainer's previous analogy, we are bombarded with images of women doing the equivalent of practicing violin for hours each day in order to compete for a spot in a symphony orchestra. There are many more kinds of music in the world! The women living this specific lifestyle have the most photos and videos circulating on social media, but they are not the one and only version of muscular beauty.
B. The lifestyle:
Related to what Gatsby28 just wrote, pursing an all out "fitness" lifestyle is only for a small minority of people. Their representations on social media distorts the true amount of time, effort, and sacrifice really needed to become reasonably fit and healthy. Preparing for competitions with cycles of 60 days of hard dieting is not a sustainable lifestyle (see this thread: https://www.girlswithmuscle.com/forum/thread/... ) That said, you do not have to pursue this niche bodybuilding lifestyle to meet fit, healthy, muscular women. You do probably need to change your daily routine in order to meet women who pursue athletic activities. This can be done with small incremental changes to your routine, starting one day a week. How you can get started doing this is probably for another thread, but it certainly does not take hours every day for seven days a week.
C. Your expectations and the effects of social media:
I'll state the obvious: no one walks around looking like a photoshoot. Instagram selfies often take experimentation with lighting and technique. As I mentioned above, not all fit women want to be photographed and not all of them compete for validation on social media. The ones that do create the popular fitness "look," but it's not real! We are all aware of very real issues in the fitness industry that have nothing to do with being healthy, and staying constantly shredded while maintaining muscle beyond one's genetic predisposition takes disciplined (and sometimes even disordered) dieting along with hormonal supplementation. Not sustainable and only a small minority of people undertake it to a serious degree. For most men who like muscular women, a reasonably athletic woman in real life is quite attractive-- but images of those women don't have the highest scores here. Just remember the difference between real life and pictures in the internet when you are formulating your standards. If you are not careful with this mental imagery, no one in real life will be able to meet your standards.
And now some exhibits to illustrate point #1:
PS-- a lot of athletic and muscular women are actually insecure about it because their look is not mainstream... they can actually be appreciative of your genuine admiration. For example: https://www.quora.com/How-can-I-a-female-runn...
Yes. Most women aren't attracted to men who are weaker than themselves; it's a biological thing. There's a reason why you tend to see female bodybuilders paired with absolutely humongous freaks.
Out of curiosity, why do you say this so confidently while everyone else on the thread is saying yes?
Lets say you love cooking, so the best way for someone to get your attention is that he/she loves cooking too? Maybe yes, maybe no, that depends on the person. A lot of ppl here thinks that all woman who works out, are like the ones that doing cam shows, fetish videos etc (no offense of course). Just because someone is wokring out, that doesnt mean yo have to too to get the attention, its the matter of personal taste
Read the previous answers. Although it is one way, it is not the “best” way.
Bottom line: find a gal you already have something in common with, rather than seeking companionship for superficial reasons.
You'll be much happier in the long term.
Part of the reason I like muscular girls is because they are bigger and stronger than me
If I became big and muscular myself this appeal might go
You can become bigger and stronger, and there will almost always be women who are stronger than you. I've been working out for years, and I still see some women who can do more pull ups than me, bench more than me, or deadlift more than me. And on this site... Most are stronger than me lol
And if so, why aren't more of us doing it?
I have been attracted to strong, muscular women all my life, and have been around schmoe communities (I kind of dislike that word, but I'll use it here for convenience purposes) for awhile, and I common thing I see are guys who are lamenting at how hard it is to find and get with a woman that they are attracted to, or that female bodybuilders/powerlifters/crossfitters only date other bodybuilders/powerlifters/crossfitters. The answer on what the best chance is to get with a female lifter is literally right in front of us: and that is to also get into lifting and fitness ourselves.
I think a lot of strength athletes, both male and female, like dating people who like doing the same thing because it is a lifestyle. They may also be attracted to muscle, but when you're into fitness, you don't want to date someone who rides the couch and eats junk when you're eating clean and pushing yourself at the gym. Dating is all about finding a someone with a compatible lifestyle, and a sedentary person just isn't going to find that with a fitness buff. And while I know it is a bit of a stereotype, I have been around other schmoes at shows, conventions and even a couple "session wrestling" events, and it seems like the majority of them are, well, not in very good shape. I can attest for this personally: I used to be overweight and out of shape, then I joined a crossfit gym, got into the best shape of my life, and for the first time ever started dating and eventually got into a relationship with a muscular woman.
Plus, being involved in strength sports gives you the ability to network with people, including women. I met a lot of friends through crossfit, and I know of others who have as well through bodybuilding shows, powerlifting gyms and meets, and so on. You probably won't find someone at a big box gym (like LA Fitness or Planet Fitness,) but rather at a gym that caters towards actual strength athletes, and they usually have a smaller, more intimate community that welcomes making connections.
It's really something to think about. If you are attracted to muscular women and want to get with one, the best thing you can do is to live the same lifestyle they do: if not for the muscular look, for the compatible lifestyle.