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Some thoughts in no particular order:
1) Just because he looks at muscular women online doesn't mean he's exclusively attracted to muscular women. There are lots of ways for a girl to be pretty. For some people, muscle is one of them. Speaking for myself, I've been attracted to short curvy girls and tall skinny girls and girls who work out and girls who are couch potatoes and all of them were hot in their own way.
2) You and your relationship are real. The relationship he had with an OF model was not. People fantasize about all sorts of dumb shit. I don't think it's settling to choose something real over your wildest fantasy.
3) Not to say physical attraction is unimportant, because it is important, but ultimately a relationship is built on shared experiences above all else. Do you value the experiences you share with him? Does he value the experiences he shares with you?
4) You assume he wishes you look different. Maybe he does. I don't know. But maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's with you because he likes you.
5) Sexual performance issues can be weird. If you're both enjoying the sex and it's improving for you over time, that's a good thing. Don't question it. Just enjoy it.
6) If you don't love the fact that he's actively thirsting on instagram, that's totally valid, regardless of how similar their bodies are to yours. If you're 5'6" with brown curly hair and he's looking at pictures of 5'6" women with brown curly hair, I think you would still be well within your rights to question why he's seeking out images of other women. So maybe you do need to find a way to have a conversation about setting boundaries. But if you were to start trying to turn yourself into his internet porn searches that's obviously not going to end well for anyone.
Thank you this one made me cry! I dont think I mind him looking at other woman online fully. I don’t think that would be fair, I look at porn occasionally and think that’s normal. I do think it would be kinda weird if my entire explore page was one very specific body type but I can’t really say why it would be different than going on a porn site so maybe it’s not. He is so good and respectful otherwise he’s not following or commenting or currently paying for any onlyfans so I feel like I guess if women lifting and flexing is porn to him and that’s probably more available on IG than a traditional porn site it wouldn’t be fair to say like “don’t do that anymore”. I wouldn’t want him policing my porn either and that’s partly why I feel so shitty for snooping and outing him to myself this way. But also maybe he would’ve held it in secret forever if I hadn’t. Either way this convo will happen eventually and will be for the best. Thank you for easing my mind, you’re perspective is sorta exactly what I needed to hear 🙏
Obvious trolling, this isn't reddit.
Agreed. What kind of n00b to this world immediately starts saying "FBB"?
Agreed. What kind of n00b to this world immediately starts saying "FBB"?
I mean im sceptical to but FBB is just an acronym not some secret code we use, it literally used most of the time when looking up this stuff
*by people who know what it is, not by people who just showed up
Yeah I guess, I do remember not knowing what it meant at frist. But the likelihood of someone picking it up quick isn't unlikely
The fake-sounding dialogue is not dispositive, but I doubt this person is real.
Agreed. What kind of n00b to this world immediately starts saying "FBB"?
I read posts on this forum for like 20 minutes before creating an account and posting, not hard to catch on lol and writing “FEMALE BODY BUILDER” 20 times is a hassle. Do fake people do this a lot? I don’t understand all the skepticism? I genuinely couldn’t find a single existing quora or Reddit thread that applied to my situation and I was literally spiraling wondering if my relationship was over sorry 🙄
I read posts on this forum for like 20 minutes before creating an account and posting, not hard to catch on lol and writing “FEMALE BODY BUILDER” 20 times is a hassle. Do fake people do this a lot? I don’t understand all the skepticism? I genuinely couldn’t find a single existing quora or Reddit thread that applied to my situation and I was literally spiraling wondering if my relationship was over sorry 🙄
Of course people fake it. It's so much fun for EVERYONE: the person doing the trolling, the people who participate thinking it's real, the people who join for fun KNOWING that it's fake, and the people who criticize all of the above. This has been going on since the beginning of the internet and another form of it - pic trading with written letters - existed decades before the internet even existed.
Well you came down a rabbit hole and you learned really fast you really might be on the same IQ as Einstein cos this was a smart idea but on a more serious note you really don't have to be worried because he likes youand fell for you instead of going after some FBB even though he could go to the gym and find him self an athletic female who's single and you guys have dated a long time so it's pretty much just a fetish my take is he'll get over it completely with time.
Or
You might as well surprise him, get a gym membership, follow a strict diet and start working out but that'll just be you feeding into your INSECURITIES if that's not really what you want besides he'll notice you're starting to cater to his fetishes and that probably might not end well for the both of you.
Of course people fake it. It's so much fun for EVERYONE: the person doing the trolling, the people who participate thinking it's real, the people who join for fun KNOWING that it's fake, and the people who criticize all of the above. This has been going on since the beginning of the internet and another form of it - pic trading with written letters - existed decades before the internet even existed.
So how do you know it’s fake? You’re saying all this but you don’t actually know. I am a real person and this was certainly not fun. Be cynical if you want but you’re just making assumptions and then use those assumptions to reaffirm what you choose to believe. I really appreciate the people that actually helped (and they helped a lot) and aren’t just screaming fake into the void. Like why even waist your time commenting on something you think is fake? Just to be like “🤓👆well actually this is fake because I’m super smart guy and have analyzed the text and can assure you no real woman would ever speak this way.” Like bro okay says you? Thanks for contributing nothing to the conversation 👍
I am not sure she is real but I still think I and the other guys gave good advice could help out other women who may read this. it's hard to tell because there are a lot of strange men pretending to be women online and most women are not as blunt and open-minded and they will usually ask this stuff on reddit. but sometimes a woman talks to me or is making videos and pics with most of her body hidden or online posts on forums like this. and her behavior just seems too sexual and blunt and dominant to be real she acts like a character. but then it turns out she really is a woman with a femdom fetish having some fun after all. Or in this case someone with genuine questions and a very lucky husband.
So how do you know it’s fake? You’re saying all this but you don’t actually know. I am a real person and this was certainly not fun. Be cynical if you want but you’re just making assumptions and then use those assumptions to reaffirm what you choose to believe. I really appreciate the people that actually helped (and they helped a lot) and aren’t just screaming fake into the void. Like why even waist your time commenting on something you think is fake? Just to be like “🤓👆well actually this is fake because I’m super smart guy and have analyzed the text and can assure you no real woman would ever speak this way.” Like bro okay says you? Thanks for contributing nothing to the conversation 👍
Interesting. You asked whether people fake it, I said "yes", and then you mounted an affirmative defense for something I had not accused you of. 🤔
Interesting. You asked whether people fake it, I said "yes", and then you mounted an affirmative defense for something I had not accused you of. 🤔
This whole convo started with you saying I was fake bc I used the term FBB and apparently you gotta be an expert to use that lol. Like if you want to mince words okay but don’t pretend that’s not what you were saying 🙄
In response to someone saying that use of the term FBB could be picked up easily
You responded with “by people who know what it is, not by people who just showed up“
This implies your disbelief
I will apologize a lil for taking out my frustration at the general response of those who don’t believe me on you. I did come in a little hot. I don’t know why it frustrates me so much. Just like crying and coping all day and some people are really nice and then others are so dismissive and rude. It’s hurts to not be believed idk 😞
I got what I need out of this forum so I won’t argue anymore I can’t prove it anyway
I read posts on this forum for like 20 minutes before creating an account and posting, not hard to catch on lol and writing “FEMALE BODY BUILDER” 20 times is a hassle. Do fake people do this a lot? I don’t understand all the skepticism? I genuinely couldn’t find a single existing quora or Reddit thread that applied to my situation and I was literally spiraling wondering if my relationship was over sorry 🙄
Yet, here you are, an insecure girl with all the confidence to not only use an acronym but abuse the hell out of it. I Googled "Boyfriend into muscular women" and the first hits were Reddit and Quora (each had over a dozen threads). This site showed up near the bottom of the first page's results. Naturally, it linked to this very conversation. I hope both of your accounts are banned.
Yet, here you are, an insecure girl with all the confidence to not only use an acronym but abuse the hell out of it. I Googled "Boyfriend into muscular women" and the first hits were Reddit and Quora (each had over a dozen threads). This site showed up near the bottom of the first page's results. Naturally, it linked to this very conversation. I hope both of your accounts are banned.
I don’t know what to tell you man. I don’t know why I had such a hard time finding similar stories most of the results I got were about boyfriends becoming body builders. I’m not sure how mods work here but like by all means report me. I don’t have a second account and the email associated with this one is literally my first and last name so like idk you wanna see my ID??
I don’t know what to tell you man. I don’t know why I had such a hard time finding similar stories most of the results I got were about boyfriends becoming body builders. I’m not sure how mods work here but like by all means report me. I don’t have a second account and the email associated with this one is literally my first and last name so like idk you wanna see my ID??
What is your boyfriend's username here?
What is your boyfriend's username here?
I don’t know! Not sure if he’s on here or not.
I don’t know! Not sure if he’s on here or not.
I read your initial post and tbh you sound like my girlfriend lol.
Of course, you aren't, but its funny because I've struggled with the same issues in my relationship on my end.
I'd say that for my current relationship, I do not want my girlfriend to become a muscle mommy. Do I want her to value her health and fitness? Yes, but that goes without saying - I care about her health and want her to feel her best.
The question here is, how indulged is he in this fetish?
I'd say as long as he is not indulging in it to the point where fantasy becomes reality (i.e. lack of communication, not wanting to have sex but wants to masturbate, emotional neglect) then you'll be fine.
I wouldn't necessarily confront him because there's no reason to. Women can have celebrity crushes and still date regular men. If he's seeking his celebrity crush at the expense of your relationship, then that's one thing.
If anything, it may help to "randomly" come across a workout video and maybe compliment the women in the video, see how he reacts to it. Do this every once in a while, and evaluate his responses.
I know he wishes I looked very different.
You're more than how you see yourself in the mirror. You are a whole person. Looks fade, but you'll always be the person you are. I can't say I know exactly how you feel, but I hope you take some time to dwell on the positives of the last 3 years as well.
Guys are into porn. Instagram makes it very easy to find pics of muscular women online. It might not be anything deeper than that. If it is still eating at you though, consider clearing the air, because communication is key in relationships and in the grand scheme of things, this will be far from the hardest conversation you need to have.
I promise I’m not a troll lol and I did read a bit on this forum before posting and picked up FBB pretty quickly. Idk why my username is suspicious I just thought it was to the point lol. ANYWAY. This is maybe the most helpful comment so far I really do appreciate the specifics and language around it! I know he loves it when I lay on top of him and like put all my weight on him though he’s never said that in a sexual way and I do know he likes to be scratched during sex. If his kink does lean dom I think I could be enthusiastically into it. If it more of an aesthetic only thing that’s where I start to feel unsure. I guess I could buy a muscle suit 😅 We have a lot to talk about! If my boyfriend does frequent this forum he will definitely know it’s him I’m talking at this point so maybe that will save me the nerves of starting the convo.
I’m sorry if I’m rambling or not using the forum correctly. I’ve been ruminating of this for like 24 hrs and feel like I’m going a bit crazy holding this in. Thank you for all the advice genuinely 🙏 checking out the link now!