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Well, if he has given you permission to look into his phone, he is telling you something, and that is he has nothing he wishes to hide from you. That alone says a lot. My guess is that his feelings for you aren’t based upon physical looks. I found out about my own sexual attraction to muscular women almost 50 years ago. I have been married over 40 years and my wife is not a bodybuilder either. I can tell you love isn’t based on looks. Just understand it is part of who he is.
Some thoughts in no particular order:
1) Just because he looks at muscular women online doesn't mean he's exclusively attracted to muscular women. There are lots of ways for a girl to be pretty. For some people, muscle is one of them. Speaking for myself, I've been attracted to short curvy girls and tall skinny girls and girls who work out and girls who are couch potatoes and all of them were hot in their own way.
2) You and your relationship are real. The relationship he had with an OF model was not. People fantasize about all sorts of dumb shit. I don't think it's settling to choose something real over your wildest fantasy.
3) Not to say physical attraction is unimportant, because it is important, but ultimately a relationship is built on shared experiences above all else. Do you value the experiences you share with him? Does he value the experiences he shares with you?
4) You assume he wishes you look different. Maybe he does. I don't know. But maybe he doesn't. Maybe he's with you because he likes you.
5) Sexual performance issues can be weird. If you're both enjoying the sex and it's improving for you over time, that's a good thing. Don't question it. Just enjoy it.
6) If you don't love the fact that he's actively thirsting on instagram, that's totally valid, regardless of how similar their bodies are to yours. If you're 5'6" with brown curly hair and he's looking at pictures of 5'6" women with brown curly hair, I think you would still be well within your rights to question why he's seeking out images of other women. So maybe you do need to find a way to have a conversation about setting boundaries. But if you were to start trying to turn yourself into his internet porn searches that's obviously not going to end well for anyone.
Love doesn't come from appearances. If he is comfortable around you that is more than enough reason for a long term relationship. I am married to a girl for 10+ years who is opposite of gwm. She is thin as a tooth pick. And I know she will never be someone from my dreams. But I love other things about her. Looks are not the only metric for a relationship. A muscular body may turn on your bf but he doesn't want to be turned on 24/7.I would suggest discuss this with him and try to do fantasy role play in bed. It will help spice things up during sex
Fetishes are first and foremost rooted in fantasy. Many fetishes are so rooted in fantasy that to somehow actualize them would be impossible. You're not going to become an FBB and that's perfectly ok. As many here have already said, you can be attracted to muscular women but still be attracted to women with normative body types.
You're very sweet for reaching out here and trying to be a supportive partner so kudos for that. My best advice if you're trying to sort of extend an olive branch here would be grab the lowest hanging fruit possible. Ignore the guy above who suggests getting a gym membership yadda yadda. You could do that, that'd be great, but that's simply not something most people can commit to. Maybe just try to do some casual squats now and again. Get some workout clothing (leggings/bike shorts/etc). Simple signifiers of fitness will probably really arouse your partner. If you can get to a comfortable place where you both are aware of each other's awareness of this maybe do some online shopping together and let him pick something out for you to wear. I'm sure he'd loooove that.
TL;DR, you're not going to become a muscle lady and you really don't have to. It's an unrealistic and, at the extreme end, a very unhealthy expectation. But you can try to cultivate a playful mentality around arousing your partner. Try to think of it in the same context as your partner fetishizing... idk catgirls? You can't be a catgirl but you can throw on some fake ears an a tail y'know. You don't need to be swole but you can throw on some leggings and do squats on his face :P
First, I want to commend you for your openness in exploring your feelings and the dynamic in your relationship. Navigating insecurities and understanding a partner's preferences takes a lot of courage and self-awareness.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
Preferences vs. Reality
Your boyfriend’s interest in female bodybuilders doesn’t necessarily mean he’s dissatisfied with you. People’s visual or sexual fantasies don’t always dictate what they seek in a real, meaningful relationship. He’s chosen to be with you for three years, which suggests he values and loves you deeply. Try not to let assumptions about his preferences erode your confidence or the bond you share, though. My wife has mostly made peace with my wandering eye. I spend far more time commenting positively about her than about other women, which helps in our case, I imagine.
The Role of Fantasy
It’s common for people to have fantasies or interests that don’t align with their real-life relationships. His subscription to an OnlyFans in 2021 and his Instagram browsing might represent a private fascination, not a reflection of dissatisfaction with you. Fantasies often serve as an escape or curiosity and don’t necessarily indicate unmet needs in the relationship. I get it, though. But...also, I'm a guy and feel that some flexibility on this is healthy for you, however, I readily admit you get to set your own standards and boundaries. What I call "healthy" might be an absolute deal-breaker for you.
Communication is Key
Your concerns about bringing this up are understandable, but healthy relationships thrive on honest communication. You can approach the topic gently, without accusations. For example:
“I noticed your Instagram explore page has a lot of musclegirls, and it made me curious about what you find appealing. I want to understand this part of you better because I love you.” This approach invites openness rather than defensiveness, helping you both understand each other.
Set Boundaries if Needed
If his behavior—like actively following or engaging with content bothers you, that’s valid. It’s okay to express how it makes you feel and discuss boundaries. A good compromise could balance his interests and your emotional comfort.
Focus on What’s Real
I can't stress this part enough. You’re in a real relationship with shared experiences, love, and connection. His previous inability to ejaculate likely stemmed from something deeper than physical attraction, and now that he feels comfortable, things have improved. That comfort is a testament to the emotional safety you provide.
Role-Playing and Fantasy Integration
If you feel open to it, you could explore ways to integrate elements of his interest into your intimacy without changing who you are. This might include playful role-play or wearing athletic-style outfits. However, only do this if it feels fun or exciting to you, not as an obligation to “compete” with a fantasy.
Your Worth is Not Conditional
It’s vital to remember that you are worthy of love and attraction just as you are. His interest in FBBs doesn’t diminish your value or desirability. Comparing yourself to a particular body type (or anyone else) is a losing game - relationships are built on much more than physicality. I know you know this. I'm just saying it out loud because sometimes we need the reminder. 😉
Closing Thoughts
Your boyfriend seems to have chosen you because he values who you are. People are complex, and preferences don’t always translate to dissatisfaction. Trust your bond, communicate openly, and prioritize your mutual happiness over assumptions. You deserve to feel secure and cherished in your relationship and - speaking from experience - talking about it openly with him is likely to really turn him on. 🥰
I don't know what he is like. but if he is like me try to find out if he is into forms of femdom and try to appear strong and intimidating. since sometimes it's possible to create the illusion of being stronger than you really are especially when he is laying down. if he likes things like headscissors do that to him and he will probably be quite happy. fbbs are ultra rare because getting muscular is very hard and too much to ask for most women. and if he does see one most will have no attraction to him. so I think he has accepted that he can't get the perfect looking wife. but I think men with traditional preferences also have that problem. so it doesn't matter just try your best and enjoy.
First, I want to commend you for your openness in exploring your feelings and the dynamic in your relationship. Navigating insecurities and understanding a partner's preferences takes a lot of courage and self-awareness.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
Preferences vs. Reality
Your boyfriend’s interest in female bodybuilders doesn’t necessarily mean he’s dissatisfied with you. People’s visual or sexual fantasies don’t always dictate what they seek in a real, meaningful relationship. He’s chosen to be with you for three years, which suggests he values and loves you deeply. Try not to let assumptions about his preferences erode your confidence or the bond you share, though. My wife has mostly made peace with my wandering eye. I spend far more time commenting positively about her than about other women, which helps in our case, I imagine.
The Role of Fantasy
It’s common for people to have fantasies or interests that don’t align with their real-life relationships. His subscription to an OnlyFans in 2021 and his Instagram browsing might represent a private fascination, not a reflection of dissatisfaction with you. Fantasies often serve as an escape or curiosity and don’t necessarily indicate unmet needs in the relationship. I get it, though. But...also, I'm a guy and feel that some flexibility on this is healthy for you, however, I readily admit you get to set your own standards and boundaries. What I call "healthy" might be an absolute deal-breaker for you.
Communication is Key
Your concerns about bringing this up are understandable, but healthy relationships thrive on honest communication. You can approach the topic gently, without accusations. For example:
“I noticed your Instagram explore page has a lot of musclegirls, and it made me curious about what you find appealing. I want to understand this part of you better because I love you.” This approach invites openness rather than defensiveness, helping you both understand each other.
Set Boundaries if Needed
If his behavior—like actively following or engaging with content bothers you, that’s valid. It’s okay to express how it makes you feel and discuss boundaries. A good compromise could balance his interests and your emotional comfort.
Focus on What’s Real
I can't stress this part enough. You’re in a real relationship with shared experiences, love, and connection. His previous inability to ejaculate likely stemmed from something deeper than physical attraction, and now that he feels comfortable, things have improved. That comfort is a testament to the emotional safety you provide.
Role-Playing and Fantasy Integration
If you feel open to it, you could explore ways to integrate elements of his interest into your intimacy without changing who you are. This might include playful role-play or wearing athletic-style outfits. However, only do this if it feels fun or exciting to you, not as an obligation to “compete” with a fantasy.
Your Worth is Not Conditional
It’s vital to remember that you are worthy of love and attraction just as you are. His interest in FBBs doesn’t diminish your value or desirability. Comparing yourself to a particular body type (or anyone else) is a losing game - relationships are built on much more than physicality. I know you know this. I'm just saying it out loud because sometimes we need the reminder. 😉
Closing Thoughts
Your boyfriend seems to have chosen you because he values who you are. People are complex, and preferences don’t always translate to dissatisfaction. Trust your bond, communicate openly, and prioritize your mutual happiness over assumptions. You deserve to feel secure and cherished in your relationship and - speaking from experience - talking about it openly with him is likely to really turn him on. 🥰
Thank you for this. I am going to look for a smooth opening to talk to him about this. I bet it will take some weight off of both of us. (No pun intended) I think I knew a lot of this deep down I was just so shocked when with what I saw and started spiraling. This is exactly what I needed to hear from someone who is into FBB. Thank you 🥹
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Last night I was looking through his phone (he’s given me permission to do this when ever I want) I went to his Instagram explore page and it was ALL female body builders. I then went to onlyfans and saw that he had been subscribed to a FBB in 2021. I am not an athletic woman. It feels like he’s super into the exact opposite of my body and it’s making me feel really insecure. We don’t have sex super often and he wasn’t able to actually ejaculate for the first 2 years we were together and now I can’t help but think it’s because he’s not attracted to my body.
I know I should talk to him about this but I feel like I’ve violated his privacy and I don’t want to embarrass him. I consider myself open minded and I don’t want to be judgmental but im having a hard time coming to terms with this preference. I feel like hes settled for me because FBB are scarce and his family is kinda homophobic and I think would be very judgmental if he were to date a FBB.
I love him and I don’t want him to feel ashamed and now that he does ejaculate during sex I’m scared to bring this up. Worried he’ll feel insecure too and won’t be able to finish again. When I asked what changed to make him finally start ejaculating he just kinda shrugged and looked away and said he just feels more comfortable now. So I didn’t push further on that point, just excited it was happening for him. I love him so deeply but I don’t know if I can be in this relationship now that I know he wishes I looked very different. (He’s never actually made any sort of negative comment on my body or prompted me to start working out so this is mostly my assumptions)
I don’t want to be a muscle lady and I was very upfront with how inactive I am so I don’t understand why he would start a long term relationship with someone who he’s not deeply attracted to and knows will not change in that aspect.
I guess I’m just wondering if yall have any advice or if any of you are in long term relationships with non-FBB women/can be attracted to them even with this intense attraction to FBB. What about FBB do you love? Is there anyway to bring this “kink” into the bedroom without actually getting muscular.
What is his username here?
You found here real quick.
Yeah there’s not a ton of results when you google “my boyfriends into muscle ladies” 😅
Yup. This is written in a way that makes me feel like it's bait. Especially the username.
I mean I made an account to post this lol but think what you want.
1) I'm into muscular women, my partner is a lifter but she's chubby (I also actually love chubby women)
2) There's a lot of shame and weirdness around it so having someone know your secret and be okay with you is actually hugely relieving and helpful
3) It's probably gonna be a hard kink to bring into the bedroom but if you guys are open or poly that might be a route to have your cake and eat it too
4) Maybe most importantly there is SO MUCH MORE to relationships than kinks - I would much rather date my current partner than some random gym woman because we're incredibly compatible as humans and love each other deeply. Talking with him about it might be scary and might go badly but it might also be a useful thread to pull on and open up some intimacy for you two in unexpected ways. Be gentle since you're gonna be pushing on what's probably a really sensitive insecure topic for him.
You sound like a catch and a wonderful girlfriend - wishing the best for both of you ❤️
1) I'm into muscular women, my partner is a lifter but she's chubby (I also actually love chubby women)
2) There's a lot of shame and weirdness around it so having someone know your secret and be okay with you is actually hugely relieving and helpful
3) It's probably gonna be a hard kink to bring into the bedroom but if you guys are open or poly that might be a route to have your cake and eat it too
4) Maybe most importantly there is SO MUCH MORE to relationships than kinks - I would much rather date my current partner than some random gym woman because we're incredibly compatible as humans and love each other deeply. Talking with him about it might be scary and might go badly but it might also be a useful thread to pull on and open up some intimacy for you two in unexpected ways. Be gentle since you're gonna be pushing on what's probably a really sensitive insecure topic for him.
You sound like a catch and a wonderful girlfriend - wishing the best for both of you ❤️
Thanks for this. It might take some time to work up the courage and find the right words but I hope you’re right and he feels relieved by the conversation though I’m definitely gonna cry a lot lol hopefully we’ll be closer by the end of it.
Successful relationships are about shared values. Differences may be interesting in the short run but shared core values are predictive of longer term compatibility. Does your bf work out himself and is this a key core value for him? If not, then it seems his attraction to buff women is rooted in something more complex. If he does work out and being buff himself is important to his well being but you do not, then I suspect you both are not fundamentally compatible. Both of you should have the courage and maturity to discuss this very frankly and then make some decisions.
Many members here shared some good and healthy points about relationship and communication and they were clear that your relationship is great since he cares. Nickname and the use of the term FBB is also suspicious.
But on the off chance you're not a troll, you might feel uncomfortable bringing it up right away. Or perhaps you might need some time to think and decide when to talk it through later. There's one question that was left mostly unanswered: "Is there anyway to bring this “kink” into the bedroom without actually getting muscular."
I suggest you dig through the forum a bit. There was a thread on whic aspects members of muscular women members here like the most. Some enjoy strength, some are into being domeinated while others are purely into aesthetics. There were a lot of answers that go into detail. Some have sthenolagnia (fascination with muscles) and some cratolagnia (fascination of strength). Sometimes it overlaps, sometimes not. It depends on what your boyfriend might actually like. Communication will help, but there are some obvious ways to bring this into the bedroom.
1) He might like to touch/feel muscles like many members here do. Flexed thighs or calves are great options. High heels are your friend. As well as this https://sexpositions.club/positions/267.html position. you can encourage him to caress your thighs. Flexed thighs are tight and feel nice
2) He might enjoy you taking charge, you pinning him. Basically light domination.
3) Other more pronounced BDSM practices
4) cosplay/strenght play - e.g. dress up as wonder woman and he can pretend you have super strength.
5) you can do squats or some workout as a form of foreplay
6) leggings and squatting on his face were suggested. legitimate option
i'm sure you can think of many more
there are many options. His preference might vary from what members here will suggest. Some of these you can test for very subtly in case you don't feel comfortable speaking about yet. Although he will probably feel very relieved and after the talk about this kink openly and seek understanding, you two will likely build a better relationship. good luck
Obvious trolling, this isn't reddit.
Now now, let's not jump to conclusions yet. We know the Mods can see IP addresses to check if any Members are using more than one account.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Last night I was looking through his phone (he’s given me permission to do this when ever I want) I went to his Instagram explore page and it was ALL female body builders. I then went to onlyfans and saw that he had been subscribed to a FBB in 2021. I am not an athletic woman. It feels like he’s super into the exact opposite of my body and it’s making me feel really insecure. We don’t have sex super often and he wasn’t able to actually ejaculate for the first 2 years we were together and now I can’t help but think it’s because he’s not attracted to my body.
I know I should talk to him about this but I feel like I’ve violated his privacy and I don’t want to embarrass him. I consider myself open minded and I don’t want to be judgmental but im having a hard time coming to terms with this preference. I feel like hes settled for me because FBB are scarce and his family is kinda homophobic and I think would be very judgmental if he were to date a FBB.
I love him and I don’t want him to feel ashamed and now that he does ejaculate during sex I’m scared to bring this up. Worried he’ll feel insecure too and won’t be able to finish again. When I asked what changed to make him finally start ejaculating he just kinda shrugged and looked away and said he just feels more comfortable now. So I didn’t push further on that point, just excited it was happening for him. I love him so deeply but I don’t know if I can be in this relationship now that I know he wishes I looked very different. (He’s never actually made any sort of negative comment on my body or prompted me to start working out so this is mostly my assumptions)
I don’t want to be a muscle lady and I was very upfront with how inactive I am so I don’t understand why he would start a long term relationship with someone who he’s not deeply attracted to and knows will not change in that aspect.
I guess I’m just wondering if yall have any advice or if any of you are in long term relationships with non-FBB women/can be attracted to them even with this intense attraction to FBB. What about FBB do you love? Is there anyway to bring this “kink” into the bedroom without actually getting muscular.