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lately I've also been realizing that I would rather look like muscular women (let's say envy in a good way) and be attracted to very muscular men
To me its totally about the size difference. If he's tall and muscular it makes me feel tiny and weak and it makes want to completely submit to him. And the more exaggerated that difference, the hotter it is. I can get that somewhat from FBBs and getting pegged, but the real thing is so much better. I find myself attracted to fitness women but more from the standpoint of wanting to look like them.
I realized my addiction to male muscle several years ago. I first was extremely turned on by female muscle and once I became fascinated with male muscle my muscle addiction went to a new level. For me the sexual fascination is with big hard flexed male muscle vs having sex with a man - if that makes sense.
Hey 👋 I'm super late to this party but I just wanted to drop my secret for where/how I get my massive BB smut. I go to mymusclevideo[dot]com. So far it seems to be the best free site for stage level bodybuilders getting dirty. The downside is you can only click like 10 videos/day before they cut you off. The cumbersome way I get around that is to right click the video icon when I'm browsing for jacked muscle men, go to 'copy link address', then go to 9xbuddy(searching on your browser is the best way to find it) and use their free downloader to download the video.
The downside of this is you can't preview the video you are downloading so you might end up deleting a dud every now and then but it's mostly reliable