Log in | Register
Forum > General / Nonfiction > Thread

For those of you who aren't muscular/don't lift. Have you ever dated a girl who did?

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

Whenever I speak to an FBB, most of them say they don't really like guys who lift, atleast as much as they do, because they tend to be arrogant or something along those liens. However whenever I see a female athlete or lifter post their partners, they almost always lift or are athletic themselves. So I'm curious if any of you non lifters have ever dated one?

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

Whenever I speak to an FBB

Out of curiosity, in what scenarios/opportunities do you speak to them? Do you talk to them on a personal and friendly level where you know them in-person, or maybe train with them at the same gym? Or is this something where you "speak" to them through webcam, sessions and/or comments and DMs on social media? If it's the latter, you have to take what they say with a grain of salt. If you are talking to them through a cam service, you have to understand that they're going to tell you mostly what you want to hear since you are a paying customer and they obviously want your business, or if it's social media, they may also tell you what you want to hear so that you keep following them.

Yes, there are muscular women who are ok with dating men (or women) who don't lift and aren't in shape, but they are the vast minority. Your don't have to be bodybuilder huge, but since living a fit lifestyle is just that: a lifestyle, they're going to be most likely to go with someone who does some kind of consistent training versus a couch potato who double fists bags of Doritos. It's a bit sad to constantly read posts from guys asking if buff women will go for out of shape men, especially given that the solution to, well, not being out of shape, is right there.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

My gf lifts pretty regularly but I am still way stronger than her, its just biology its a bit sad but theres nothing you can do about it. I dont lift just a blue collar job that helps me stay fit haha

cgsweat
Jun 06, 2024 - edited Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

...versus a couch potato who double fists bags of Doritos. It's a bit sad to constantly read posts from guys asking if buff women will go for out of shape men, especially given that the solution to, well, not being out of shape, is right there.

I think some guys have this idea that they can start a thing with a FBB, while also putting forth the least amount of effort possible... almost like they can roll out of bed one day, meet up with some random FBB they chatted with on webcam, and sparks will fly as she gazes upon a body formed from years of lethargic and sedentary living .

Looks are one thing, but I believe fit women place a lot of value on lifestyle as well. And I think that is the biggest change that most guys here are unwilling to make, because it would require spending time training instead of binge watching Netflix, and watching what they eat instead of picking up fast food everyday on the way home from work.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

I’m just a regular guy that only exercises periodically, and I only dated girls who lift. I’m married to one now, but I wouldn’t be upset if she stopped. She just likes to do it.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

That's my biggest dream. To date a bodybuilder.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

It's this unchecked addiction to webcam porn that keeps most of you in that world of fiction where these muscular women are having an affair with you(in your head, hah) Just like anything else in reality you want something tangible you have to work towards it.

Hanging out here, singing ballads for x, y or z camgirl won't get you anywhere. Truth is, most women(99.9%) that lift to compete run the opposite direction from you guys, except to milk you for money. But apparently that part of your brain is switched off, completely.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

no fbbs they are too rare i have dated a woman who is slightly stronger than me but that is just because i am super weak for a man .

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

In my 20s, I was in a relationship with a heavyweight bodybuilder. At that time, I didn’t participate in any sports and was naturally slim, but in decent shape. Still, the difference between us was huge. When I was 35, I met my second wife. I had been a regular at the gym for about three years by then. Inspired by me, she joined the gym, became a competitive powerlifter, and remained committed. After our marriage, I stopped going to the gym and only recently resumed, resulting in her being in much better shape than me, for most of the last 10 years. Both of them would occasionally encourage me to start or resume training, but they never indicated it was crucial for our relationship. They have expressed multiple times that they would find it difficult to date a man who spends more time looking in the mirror than they do. My wife has also mentioned, more than once, that she would prefer not to be in a relationship with someone showing narcissistic tendencies, when asked about the (theoretical) possibility of dating a male bodybuilder.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

Nobody wants a slob. However, I don't think sharing the same lifestyle matters as much as being understanding of it.

Jun 06, 2024 - edited Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

It's a bit sad to constantly read posts from guys asking if buff women will go for out of shape men, especially given that the solution to, well, not being out of shape, is right there.

I don't think someone should change who they are just in order to appear more desirable for someone else, even more if that someone else is not anyone in particular. I do understand someone doing it, if they feel like doing it, but only then. It has to be something for themselves, not other people. Whenever I decided to hit the gym, I did it for myself! I'd rather struggle to find someone who wants me for who I am than pretend to be someone else, just to appear more desirable. That being said, I do agree that a couch potato will have a much harder time finding a fit woman to date, than an active man.

Jun 06, 2024 - permalink

It's this unchecked addiction to webcam porn that keeps most of you in that world of fiction where these muscular women are having an affair with you(in your head, hah) Just like anything else in reality you want something tangible you have to work towards it.

Hanging out here, singing ballads for x, y or z camgirl won't get you anywhere. Truth is, most women(99.9%) that lift to compete run the opposite direction from you guys, except to milk you for money. But apparently that part of your brain is switched off, completely.

What is wrong with you? I asked a very simple question. Lot of idiotic assumptions made in this post.

Jun 07, 2024 - permalink

No Zachef, you are wrong. These are not idiotic assumptions but words of experience. Take it onboard. Your opening post is questionable.

Jun 07, 2024 - permalink

And going by your other post about FBB merch, I think we can draw some accurate assumptions from Gatsby’s smart words.

Jun 07, 2024 - permalink

I guess it depends on your definition of "lift."

When it comes to bodybuilders and competitive fitness girls, there is a VERY small chance that they'll be in a serious relationship with someone who is not very athletic. If their partner isn't into bodybuilding, then they're usually heavy into some other sport or physical activity. He might be a cyclist or a climber or an MMA fighter, but he's almost surely fit and active.

The only exceptions that I've seen are (1) they met before she started bodybuilding (2) he's really freaking rich (3) he had an accident or an illness or (4) she's older and looking to settle down with someone nice.

In terms of girls who "lift," like the ones who wear a "Gym O'Clock" tshirt and do some deadlifts at Planet Fitness after work... yes, they may very well be in relationships with guys who aren't as fit or as active as them. These women aren't super committed and probably aren't juicing, so they're not on the level of most GWM models, but I think that it's actually kind of common for men to be in relationships with girls who actively train at the gym more than they do. The majority of gym memberships are sold to women.

Jun 07, 2024 - permalink

And going by your other post about FBB merch, I think we can draw some accurate assumptions from Gatsby’s smart words.

Damn a double post and looking at my post history. Sounds like the real obsession is with me lol. Sorry not interested friend.

Jun 07, 2024 - permalink

Zachef: you still didn't answer my question and I am curious: when you say "whenever you talk to a FBB," in what kind of avenue are you "talking" to them? Are you speaking to them while knowing them personally and in-person, or through webcams and social media?

Jun 10, 2024 - permalink

I don't think someone should change who they are just in order to appear more desirable for someone else, even more if that someone else is not anyone in particular. I do understand someone doing it, if they feel like doing it, but only then. It has to be something for themselves, not other people. Whenever I decided to hit the gym, I did it for myself! I'd rather struggle to find someone who wants me for who I am than pretend to be someone else, just to appear more desirable. That being said, I do agree that a couch potato will have a much harder time finding a fit woman to date, than an active man.

In my view, I don't consider getting into shape as "changing who you are." I have been fat, and am now fit, and I consider myself the same person now as I was 50 pounds heavier. I still am a gaming nerd who also love music and literature. It's kind of like when you're dating and trying to find someone, you shouldn't change your entire personality or try to be someone completely different, but you should instead strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be. And while I do agree that ideally, if you want to get in shape you should be doing it for yourself versus someone else, I don't think it's wrong to find motivation and drive through your attraction to buff women. Plus, even if you don't end up getting with a buff woman, getting in shape is never a bad thing!

I know I and a few other people keep trying to hammer this, but it seems like every few months or so we get another post either asking how someone can date FBBs or someone asking if they would ever go out with an out of shape sedentary man, and every time it seems like people just don't want to hear that it takes WORK in order to give yourself the best chances to make that happen. Again, if you look hard enough you can always find exceptions to rules (like chain smokers living to 100 or people surviving car crashes without a seatbelt,) but you are really fighting against the tide if you want to attract a muscular woman without putting in any effort into your body (and I don't mean dicking around at the gym aimlessly a couple times a week.) And if you are someone who really struggles to find an interest in fitness or with motivation, then it's understandable and I sympathize, but it still doesn't change the reality of the situation.

Or think about it this way: If a fat woman who is on the dating apps comes up and says that she is struggling to get matches, but when you ask her what she goes for she says she is only interested in men who have a six pack and are super athletic and fit, what kind of advice do you think she will get?

Jul 04, 2024 - permalink

I think Paige Sandgren is stronger than her partner, but he’s an elite cyclist so obviously his training prioritizes endurance more than strength.

Jul 05, 2024 - permalink

Eshain competed against Paige tonight so we got to meet them for a bit for picture taking afterwards. Both really nice people. I tried to post a picture of them together from my phone but for some reason it won’t allow it. Have to wait till we get home in a couple of days.

Jul 05, 2024 - permalink

Yeah at my age (think of finishing uni) I have not yet accepted this is truly lost, but I have a crisis of meeting woman who would try to become fit with me, and the athletic ones would already be dating someone. Maybe it could change once in a relationship but I have given up on that. Will try to hope for the remaining qualities.

Jul 05, 2024 - edited Jul 13, 2024 - permalink

Sounds like the real obsession is with me lol.

They just want to judge you fairly.

Jul 05, 2024 - permalink

When I was young I didn't go to the gym. I was naturally thin and athletic. Then I got married (to a Normal girl). I wished I had gone to the gym at that time then I might have met someone that was interested in lifting.

Now that I have started going to the gym, I see a lot of women who lift. Not fbbs but still with good muscles. I talk to them a little bit, maybe make some friends. But the time for dating them is gone

Jul 05, 2024 - permalink

It's easier to find a woman who is fit/active and has a toned, lean body then trying to date a competitive bodybuilder.

To date both those and female bodybuilders, you don't necessarily have to be super buff/ripped. It does help. You do have to be active, much harder to get access to these types of women if you're a couch potato.

I joke when I say this but social skills do matter as well. Women don't want to date fans.

Dating a bodybuilder I imagine you two would have to have a lot in common. This woman's going to be dieting for weeks/months at a time, going to be restricted in what she can eat/drink, and when she's not she's still working out in the gym and staying active. You'd have to be the type of person that can live with someone who is very disciplined/focused.

Jul 05, 2024 - permalink

Eshain competed against Paige tonight so we got to meet them for a bit for picture taking afterwards. Both really nice people. I tried to post a picture of them together from my phone but for some reason it won’t allow it. Have to wait till we get home in a couple of days.

Here they are:

« first < prev Page 1 of 2 next > last »